Disclaimer and Author's Notes: No, I do not own any of the series or characters here, dammit! They belong to those multi-millionaire companies who just have to be living in some paradise island somewhere having a party.
WARNING: Ayame-chan was high on crack writing this story....(otherwise, I had too much ice cream) And high school girls are wacked. ^_^ Typically ANIME OTAKU high school girls...
AYAME-CHAN'S QUEST FOR THE PERFECT MUSE: PART TWO!
The Final Selections
[Ayame-chan and Ayanami_Chan sit and stare at the long line of nervous anime/game characters.]
Ayanami_Chan: Soo....oneechan, how did you want to do this?
Ayame-chan: Anno...I didn't plan that far.
[Beads of sweat appear on all the auditioner's faces.]
Duo: That's even worse than planning ahead of time...
Tasuki: Just greeaaaattttt.....
[Everyone continues to stay very, very still as the Twins continue to argue]
Ayanami_Chan: Whaddya mean you didn't plan that far?!?!?
Ayame-chan: Hey, I don't have a muse, so I couldn't think of anything!
[A puff of smoke appears and out comes MaulieCat in a sweater and jeans]
MaulieCat: Can I help?
[Silence]
The Twins (hehe): IMOTO-CHAN!!!!
[They topple MaulieCat over. The anime/game characters continue to sweatdrop even more.]
Shampoo: Hiya...
Vincent: Another author...
That Blue-haired Chick who's like Rei in Evangelion but is from Nadeisco (Argh! What's her name?!?): Idiots.
Sanosuke: Holy shit, they've got a family...
[A mallet from hammerspace knocks him out cold]
Ayame-chan: *glaring* Sano-chan, what did I say about swearing?
Sanosuke: O_o
Amarant (from Final Fantasy 9 if anybody doesn't know...): .....
[*Kabloee!* Amarant is flattened by an anvil. Ayanami_Chan and MaulieCat stare at her strangely]
MaulieCat: 'Neechan, why did you do that to him?
Ayame-chan:...Mmmm...never liked him.
Ayanami_Chan: How in the world did you get all those hateful anime/game people here?
Ayame-chan: It's not my fault! It's the darn STAR testing's fault that made me lose track of everything!
MaulieCat and Ayanami_Chan: ...You've got a point.
Haruka: These authors are very strange, don't you think so, Michiru?
[Another puff of smoke appears nearby them. This time, it's Celestial Senshi]
Celestial Senshi: HARU-CHAN!!!! MICHIRU-CHAN!!!! [topples over both Haruka and Michiru in pure bliss] Oh-you-don't-know-how-I-so-wanted-to-meet-you-guys-you-guys-rock-and-kick-ass-and-I-can't-say-how-much-I-LOVE-you-guys-and----
Ayame-chan: *sweatdrops* Anno...Celestial Senshi, how did you get here?
[The crowd that had surrouned Celestial Senshi and the KOed Haruka and Michiru back away slowly, afraid]
Shinji: N-no...not another one...
Tamahome: They're popping in like flies...
Rinoa: So SHE'S Ayame-chan's partner in fanfiction and anime...
All the guys and gals around her: NANI?!?
Celestial Senshi: *who totally ignores them* Oh-Ayame-chan-you-don't-know-how-much-spiffiness-Renn-Faire-was...
Ayanami_Chan: Celestial Senshi...how much caffenine (sp? okay, i'm REALLY tired) did you have?
Celestial Senshi: *grins maniacally* Oh-I-dunno-how-much-I-had-maybe-like-fifteen-or-sixteen-cups? *spots Chichiri and runs to him* CHICHIRI!!!!!
[Chichiri is glomped by her rather tightly. He flails his arms wildly]
Chichiri: Ack, somebody help me, no da! She's choking me, no da! Help me, no da! I can't breathe, no da! DA!!!
[His face turns as blue as his hair before the Twins and MaulieCat help to restrain their caffinated-hyper friend. They settle her down in Ayame-chan's chair and inject her with a "cure". She immediately calms down with a placid smile on her face]
Celestial Senshi: Okay...daijoubu...daijoubu...
Seifer: *mutters* Goddesses from Hell...
[*Kabloee!!* Seifer is pancaked by an anvil. Ayame-chan and Celestial Senshi give each other high fives]
Zell: YES!! *swats flies* He's GONE!!!
MaulieCat: So, can we get back to the subject, now?
Everyone (w/ the exception of the authors): NOOOO----!!!!!!
[They are ignored and the authors continue their discussion]
Celestial Senshi: Well, first things first. Do you want bishounen, bishoujo, or both? And how many?
Ayame-chan: Um...bishounen would be nice...and I need at least three....
[*Poof!!* All the women disappear leaving the bishounen rather helpless]
Celestial Senshi and Ayanami_Chan: Now, why do you want all bishounen?
Ayame-chan: *shrugs* They help and you can drool on them if you want, ya know? (Argh!! I'm starting to sound like Raijin!)
Celestial Senshi and Ayanami_Chan: *pause, thinking* You've got a point...
Ashitaka: *taking the RISK* So...so how are we going to audition?
[He is immediately beaten upon by Nuriko and Zell]
Zell: Baka, you're not subbosed to ask that!
Nuriko: You're going to give them ideas!!
Squall: Zell, I didn't know you knew how to speak Japanese.
Zell: *points at Sanosuke* He taught me.
Ayanami_Chan: *claps her hands together happily* Why don't we make them all take off their shirts and dance in front of us?
[Some bishounen eep in terror while others think that it's not a pretty bad idea...]
Ayame-chan: *thinks, probably visualizing it* Hmm...that would work...[Those bishounen who have eeped in terror are slowly backing away to the wal] *shakes her head vehemently* Ie, that won't work! That's only going to distract me even more 'cuz there's too many!! *bonks her Twin on the head* Ayanami_Chan no ecchi!
Ayanami_Chan: *pouts*
Kuno: Then, I, Tatewaki Kuno will------
[*Kabloee!!* Kuno is pounded like a pancake by an anvil]
Ryouga: *breathing a sigh of relief* Arigatou gozaimasu, Kami-sama, for getting rid of him!
Ayame-chan: I'm not Kami-sama, baka. I'm the author of this fic!
[Meanwhile, Tasuki smells somethingn odd in the air and turns around. Let's just say he doesn't like what he sees and clings onto Tamahome in fear]
Tasuki: Ahhhh!!! M-monster!!!
Tamahome: *trying to pry Tasuki off him* What the hell are you doing--- *sees what Tasuki is afraid of and they cling onto each other* Ahhhh!!! G-ghost!!!
Shisho: *stares at them evilly* What did you just say?
[They being to run and run into the wall instead. That...um...wall crashing picks up the authors' attention]
Celestial Senshi: What...
Ayanami_Chan:...the hell....
MaulieCat: ...is going...
Ayame-chan: ...on?
[Some bishounen run for cover and smash into the wall like Obake-chan and Fang Boy did; others set into defensive stances]
Kenshin: *hand on hilt of sakabatou* Shishio Makoto!
[Ayame-chan and Celestial Senshi's eyes widen in horror at the appearance of Shishio and cling onto one another tightly]
Ayame-chan and Celestial Senshi: Ahhhh!!! Scaryness!!!
[Ayanami_Chan and MaulieCat are a bit confused. Then MaulieCat points at Shishio defiantly]
MaulieCat: Aha! Bandage Dude! (Note: Reminder that we are from Southern California so don't be surprised to hear the word "dude" every so often)
Ayanami_Chan: *looks at her* ' Bandage Dude ' ?
MaulieCat: You know, it's that guy that Kenshin is going to fight in the series!
Ayanami_Chan: *realizing* Oooohhhh...Bandage Dude!
MaulieCat: Exactly!
Shishio: I'm going to take ove this fic! *begins to laugh maniacally*
Ayame-chan: Ahhh!!! Nooooo-----!!!! *points a finger at him*
[Shishio is pounted by ten thousand anvils. Everybody relaxes.]
Ayame-chan: Whew, that was close.
Celestial Senshi: The roots of all scaryness...
MaulieCat: I got an idea! Why don't you give them each one of your incomplete fics so they can give suggestions on it?
Celestial Senshi: But that would waste too much time and I don't think Ayame-chan wants to make this fic any longer than it should be.
[Ayame-chan bangs her head against the wall]
Ayame-chan: Too many bishounen, can't decide,too many bishounen, can't decide, too many bishounen, can't decide, too many bishounen, can't decide....
[Sweatdrops from her friend and sisters]
MaulieCat: I think we confused her...
[A kitty that looks exactly like Tama-neko walks to Ayame-chan]
Unknown Kitty: Mreow...
Ayame-chan: *stops banging* Tama-neko? What're you doing here?
Ayanami_Chan: That's not Tama-neko, he's at home. [Flashback to where Ayanami_Chan has left a stuffed Tama-neko in a cage banging against the rails, screaming, "Let me out of here you fiends!!"]
Ayame-chan: *idea lightbulb* Aha! *points at kitty* I name you Taka-neko!! You're in charge of making all of my characters!
[*Poof!* Taka-neko is preserved as a stuffed cat that looks like Ayanami_Chan's Tama-neko.]
Taka-neko: *happily* Mreow.
[The bishounen, relieved that Ayame-chan has a muse now, begin to head towards the extis]
Ayame-chan: WAIT!! I'M NOT DONE YET!!!!
[They all freeze in place]
Ayame-chan: *points* Chichiri! I want you to be my second muse! You're in charge for angsty and humor fics!
[*Poof!* Chichiri is enclosed in a glass box with a sign around it saying "Break in Case of Emergency!"]
Chichiri: Daa!!! Nooooo----------!!!!!! I can't get out, no da! My kasa doesn't work here, no da!
Tasuki: I'll help ya, Chichiri! *raises the Tessen* LEKKA---
Ayame-chan: *points* Tasuki! You're to be my third muse! You're to be in charge of the action scenes and badass characters!
[*Poof!* Tasuki is also enclosed in a fire-proof glass box. He accidentally flames himself]
Tasuki: Ah, shit!! No, dammit! Lemme out!!!
Celestial Senshi: Well, that wasn't long...
[*Poof!* All other bishounen disappear]
MaulieCat: That only took like three seconds for her to choose...
Ayanami_Chan: *smiles gleefully* Well, that's my twin for you!
THE END
Yeah! I'm done! R&R!
F.Y.I: Ayanami_Chan DOES have Tama-neko. Read her fic about capturing it. And yes, we are twins; separated at birth and heritage. MaulieCat is our imoto-chan. She's like us in some ways, and unlike us in others which is why she's our imoto-chan. Celestial Senshi is my partner in fanfiction and anime. We're currently working on an original anime fic: "The Threads of Fate" which so far is on Chapter 10. And no harm has been done to the characters in this fic. ^_^
Ja ne!
Ayame-chan
rinoakt8@squaresoftrules.com